I just pynch a tree in the face
She told me she got a 15 on her A.C.T.. that's when I knew it was a done deal.
Brandon just fucked that chick! I tried to warn him but T9 said she had "puppy roses" instead of "pussy sores"
Just desperately used the "it's a boy" cigar I saved from my\nnephews birth to roll a blunt
We already established this. No, he did not cum on the dog.
I had to write an apology letter to security guards in the hotel so I didnt get kicked out
We all know tonight is going to end like every other night with you. drunk, pantless and confused. Dont try to switch things up.
I'm drunk at a gay bar with my riding crop. God save the queens
It felt as i were a pad of butter melting onto a piece of toast.
THE SUPER HOT BARTENDER WHO LOOKS LIKE RYAN GOSLING JUST WALKED IN. BUT HE DOESNT EVEN WALK HE GLIDES. LIKE AN ANGEL.
I mean seriously with your cock and my tits combined we could rule the world. Pinky and the brain style
90% sure I just opened a snapchat of you in a fuzzy bathrobe next to your ceiling collapsing
Can I get high for this class every tuesday? Its like a multi-sensory carnival acid trip.
What conversation warrents "penis" in rainbow comic sans
Last night I actually told him I came with a washer and dryer
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