I'm lost and stupid without you.
You were telling me about how you were gonna marry him, have his children and name them all woodchip.
Life is so much better when you know you're gonna get laid soon.
he said i ruined lesbian porn for him
I'm just gonna plan on never getting a bf. everything I touch turns to gay
He is currently pregaming mini golf. MINI GOLF.
He's like the unplanned child of drunkenness
Its not the fact that i woke up wearing a tutu that bugs me its the fact that i have 75 photos of me wearing a tutu on facebook
oh and speaking of men I've slept with. Ryan lost 1/3 of a testicle zip lining
Someone sharpied "COCK HUNGRY" on my butt cheeks last night. When the fuck did I have my ass out?
I discovered a new stretch mark. DONE. LITERALLY DONE.
I have a boner in one of my pics with her which no one noticed.
He started french braiding my hair while I was blowing him. The question is not why, but how.
I should not be this drunk in a place where a girl is wearing a princess dress
like when you break up with someone your virginity slowly starts to grow back & when it's done it's like ding ding ding you're ready to date again
Randomize
