This is not my ceiling
Came home to a chalk baord that read:" Think like a rapist." Can't say I'm surpirsed.
he told me my vagina needed a tic tac
So i've def seen the girl running for student body VP getting fingered in a bar.
his penis is PERFECT
I want to put it in a shoebox and place cottonbls around it to protect it from any harm
or knit it little hat
At the end of the night you handed the bartender a piece of paper with the word "VISA" written on it.
You just kept yelling at the cabby "I own this cab" and insisted on smoking with all the windows up
Do I have to formally apologize to Brett for flashing him?
Super stoned right now. And I stared at my exit, thought to myself "hey self. That is your exit" and I kept driving right past it.
I have stickers all over my boobs and a lump the size of china on my forehead. today has not been good.
Three months into our sexual relationship, he comes out with "Your body is efficient". WTF do I do with THAT?
I'm just blindly tossing my dick into whatever comes my way.
I AM GETTING LAID TONIGHT YES HAPPY DAY PRAISE JESUS ALMIGHTY IN HEAVEN DEAR GOD CHRIST YES DADDY YAAASSS
We should have a mid-burrito sex-break, too. Just so we don't get too full all at once
Good point.
No instead we fucked in the elevator.. it was wrong on so many levels..
How tall was the building? Maybe it was only wrong on some of them
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