george bush was a better president for first pitches than barack obama. there. i said it.
he said that weed should be legal but that particular bong shouldn't be. i stared at a clock for an hour and a half after i ripped. so logically, i completely agree.
my resolution for 2011 is to fuck him whenever he wants it. this year I'm going above and beyond the call of booty.
Hey on the reals though tomorrow if i take you out to lunch as just a friend will you also suck my cock as just a friend?
The idea of snorting emergen-c actually just crossed my mind.
... I went down on him at the movies. I feel like Alanis Morisette.
I just saw the Mona Lisa in the background of a porno. Whole new appreciation for art. fuck you I'm cultured.
The blackout version of me left a ransom note to the sober self. Somebody needs to control that guy
I'm going out with a guy whose nickname is Shark Week cause he'll eat anyone. I'm very excited.
We just had a 30 min argument on the actual birth date of Jesus, it ended in my brother and ain't cursing each other and an 8 yr old answering it by using Siri.
It will be interesting
Isn't that your life's motto?
I slept naked last night on stolen pillows. I felt like a golden goddess.
dude, i told you to rally, so you sprinted upstairs, knocked some girl down, and without missing a beat said, "not now bitch, im in the fucking zone" and took off
Pregaming at Jodi's. Ten minutes
Thought it was at Brad's?
Pregaming the pregame. Need alcohol before I can see that dick.
What do you want. Tryin to service my husband like the good wife that I am. It is bj Tuesday
Randomize
