You found a girl to hook up with at a gay bar?
No. His name was Paco. I didn't get it by choice. I never had a hickey before.
he was wearing sponge bob boxers. Guess how long he lasted.
Well that's not true. She had two social skills. She kept them in her bra
i was drunk and our names rhymed...what was i supposed to do?
Ever since he's come out, my facebook stalking experience has gotten uncomfortable
good luck with ur interview. Just show them your confidence and don't make that sucking snot noise. Really don't. Praying for you, love mom
Pretty sure that Albanian broad gave me something last night. Now we play the waiting game.
My fave moment of today was you sitting in a hot pink innertube puking into the ocean in front of a lot of children. i would have held your hair back but the ocean did it for you.
First of all she starred talking about God which immediately killed my buzz
i can't believe i helped you shave your back last night, and she still didn't sleep with you.
It's routine now. He comes home from work and i ride him like a cowgirl with only a few sips of wine. I love being his neighbor.
he's like the highest ranking tongue wizard i know.
I got drunk and bought a house last night. Also, I threw up on Mike's lawn. I'm pretty excited about one of those two things.
I was asked to be part of a mmf threesome. I think I'd rather stay home, watching Orange is the New Black and cuddle with my cat though
I kept my extra Molly pill in my wallet in the change part, that's also where I keep my body jewelry while I'm working. The nose ring punctured the pill essentially coating itself in MDMA. My nose ring is back in my nose. This could be entertaining
Randomize
