ohhhh fuckk. chicks a dude.
i soberly give you permission to do that to me when im drunk
if three guys were standing in front of you and they differed only in the hairiness of the groin who would you choose: smooth as a baby's bottom, the grass lands or the amazon jungle?
i think you're getting too neurotic about why she won't touch you.
she said it was ok for her to take her top off in the hot tub but she didn't take off her bottoms because that would be slutty
you tried to do a keg stand and ended up flipping over it and onto the table
tan lines, throwing up everclear on the beach, doing lifeguards, tequila...summer.
Apparently she doesn't appreciate the significance of eskimo sisterhood as much as I do.
I actually want to hang out with her with our clothes on. That's a big step up for me.
I'll be accepting presents in the forms of drinks, drugs, and orgasms. So any or all of those will be fine.
i am willing to donate my body to this science experiment when it means free blowjobs
I am his drunk Jesus. I will love him from afar because he's my little lamb
I was too drunk to remember throwing up so i probably didn't learn my lesson
I jammed my finger giving him a hand job. Don't ask how, I'm still trying to figure that out.
nobody was home so I boiled the dildo
I wish you could see all the crumbs in my bra....it looks like Hansel & Gretel got lost in my cleavage.
Randomize
