There's a 24 hour period after giving head where you can't eat penis shaped food without me laughing at you
"Students using Axe body spray to light selves on fire" is a real headline from a real newspaper. WHY AREN'T WE DOING THIS RIGHT NOW?
is it just my freshly shaved vagina or is the guy at the end of the table pretty cute??
Drinking with a woman who gave an anti-drugs speech at my high school. Somehow, not surprised.
I need to figure out how to tell my doctor that I don't want to fix my possible fertility problems until AFTER I'm done whoring around in my 20s.
I just saw him carrying his little sister while walking his puppy. And he was shirtless. I swear my ovaries just exploded
Dude made his own urinal by punching a hole in the wall and pissing in it rather than waiting in line. That is the stuff of legends.
In the midst of you puking your guts out, you stopped, looked at the globe in front of you and whispered "America.."
If he tries to stick his thumb up my butt again im going to rip his dick off with my vagina
I told you those kegels would come in handy one day
Hey, please tell me that you and dad are having actual steaks tonight and I did not just get sexted by my dad
It's a goat... but where the fuck did it come from?
Opened the apartment door and the smell of sex and weed literally slapped me across the face. Kudos.
We could have a classy candlelight sonic dinner with fireball cocktails if you leave now. Twat tickler centerpieces.
I can't believe my vagina just got wished happy new year
this isn't the first time drunken padiddle ended in a fist fight..
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