I will come over but only if I don't have to take my sunglasses off for it
Kelly, is this rhetorical, or sarcastic? You are very kind & quite beautiful, but we never really evolved into anything & your prevailing ambivalence spoke more than words ever could.
"We" really do not exist-if we ever did. Both of us may have been hoping for more than was possible.
I would enjoy sitting down to talk about the dissolution, but think it may end up being counter productive.
The theme is smores and alcohol. Dress appropriately.
He's drunk and putting on a tie for the jimmy john's delivery guy
I will never swim in a flooded basement again..
All I remember is him trying to go down on me, but I guess I was too busy making out with his brother
remind me to get a blood sugar test this week. I'm pretty sure I'm a mojito away from diabetes.
fact: I now appreciate my drunken winter self even more. I just found $20 in my winter coat with a note that says keep yourself warm next winter. I am awesome.
Haha, oh man. I'm awake now. Slept in my headdress.
There are 18k people at the game and I'm next to the one guy who pulls his underwear down to his ankles to piss.
We're doing it in the traditional way of discussing why we dislike each other while sharing a bowl. Just like the natives do.
im just going to make a prayer circle of top ramen packets and cheap beer
He still texted me and invited me over a day later so I guess I'm the lovable kind of psycho
Next time I pee on a car, I'll text you.
I think everyone at the office can tell I'm dehydrated
you mean still drunk
I've heard it both ways
Randomize
