yo i just woke up i feel so weird, and the absolut is still fill, so is the 30, what the fuck did we drink last night man? And will you please come out of the bathroom.
Bro... we didn't even hang out last night??
After going down on me he either said "there, it's over" or "there's an odor"... I couldn't hear him and was too embarrassed to ask him to repeat himself. I just got dressed, grabbed my bag, and left. So I don't think there's gunna be a second date. =(
they have a walk of shame score keeper on their fridge. I marked my tally for him on my way out..
Use motel 8. I'll give you my credit card #. i'll pay for it cuz i care about your vagina.
And there might be a gallon of sangria without the lid on the floor in your room. Just be careful when you open the door.
Is putting "Tonight I'm Fucking You" on my date playlist too forward?
Not sure how I feel about St Psts and March Madness being on the same weekend. I feel like I've been screwed out of a drunk holiday.
I mean, yeah, she was cheating on me but I've been fucking her brother. My secret relationship trumps her secret relationship.
Well obviously when I get drunk my intelligence level surpasses yours and that's why you can't understand me.
for me, it's working out the tricky timing of the Viagra and nightly laxative.
HIS BALLS ARE HEAVEN SENT FROM THE VELVET ANGLES.
Ever the responsible adult, I just realized that today is the Obamacare deadline, but I'm too high to handle insurance now.
He's interpretive dancing to Crazy by Britney Spears and expressing his feelings for either me or the guy next to us
He went to 7/11 first and came back with condoms and a banana "in case we get hungry"
We stole a Christmas tree from the student center and then decorated it with everything we stole from parties... All I have to say is Feliz Navidad!
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