margs and chips and queso make the world go round
well and inertia
Is it weird that I want your dad to go down on me?
I don't see why you're so upset, it's not like you were wearing pants either.
If you can't find your cat in the morning it's cause i put him in the laundry basket and then put the laundry basket in the shower.
Stripperoke is exactly what it sounds...
Just found the cutest bag of coke under my bed. I'm going to get fucked up and bleach the cat vomit out of my sheets.
Sex on the scooter in the parking lot wasn't the smartest idea. Actual quote from the cop as he handed me the ticket and fist bumped me.
Come on there are only so many drink coaster sizes nipples in the world
Let's go dancing. I wanna sprain an ankle. And a labia. My labia or yours. I'm not picky.
If I had feelings, you would have hurt them.
Take off your clothes and see if he wants to have sex, that's a good way to find out
So is the trick to long distance communication to be drunk during phone conversations?
He met a girl at a stop light and managed to give her his number while driving down the highway.
I don't need no damn man when I have the cock-a-nator 2000.
I had to pee so bad that I snuck into the bathroom while they were in the shower. At her request, he was massaging her boobs so they could grow faster. Also there was a laser light machine.
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