Watching Miami Social reminded me of how much I miss snorting coke with burger king straws in a life guard hut on the beach until we noticed someone was drowning.
Did you save them?
Who?
this isnt the person you just texted but i have her phone. she disappeared when the bacon came home and she hasn't returned since.
well as your friend its only fair to offer my cock for your services. Cause I care.
The office pool is up to $500 if you take a shit in Frank's desk drawer. Time to change the unpaid internship into a cash cow.
Yeah I mean its Vermont, not like id be the first guy to trade pharmaceutical services for beer
at the end of the day, college isnt gonna be for everyone... and some of us are just going to have to learn how to breathe underwater while sucking cock.
No. No. No. No one's allowed to fuck in the yurt.
There are more dirty dishes in my bed then in the kitchen. Have I lost at life?
Did you know there is a guy on the porch, wrapped in your snuggie, singing no woman no cry and drinking wine coolers?
The guy I screamed at across the bar for booing the Bruins ended up buying me shots I had to explain to him there's not a chance in hell I would ever fuck a Canadian! #Bostonstrong
PS there is a naked boy in my bed and I just left for the bar...
I like to send nudes ok? If that's my biggest flaw I think I'm ok
I brought her cheeseburgers and tequila but she's still mad at me.
I got outsmarted by a door tonight. Twice.
Depends how u look at it. Half-full, half-empty, or how should I shave my pubes
Randomize
