my night went downhill once I lost my bikershorts. EAWSSSSYY ACCESS
Fun fact: female penguins have sex in exchange for pebbles to build nests. I now know what im being for halloween
We did however see an 87 year old guy die and get resuscitated last night at the bar. He then finished his beer and his game of pool.
the boys lacrosse roster just went up... now we can see who we had sex with
About six hours after the bottle of smirnoff, I was googling "losing your stomach lining" and calling my mom for help. She has experience.
I feel like my nipples were chewed on by alligators.
He handed me a temporary tattoo and said cover the hickey up with this
Today is a shit your pants at work kinda day
At the ER. John needs stiches. Fuck pub trivia nights.
So my POF profile is full of Archer references. Only guys who get them will be getting any response to their messages.
At least life still wants to fuck me.
i just called dibs on the taxi driver at the bar that isnt drinking. im a grown up
Granted every 20 shifts of working there you seem to be on par to receive some sort of racy satisfying sexual encounter which money can’t buy
you can see where the duct tape was on my nipple
I woke up in a boat, with a life jacket on, tons of beer cans and no lake... I was inside a garage. WTF
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