I just peed in my kitchenbs sinlk. New low- maybe. am i embarrassed? Not in the least
Dude, I woke up in the kitchen, naked, with a blueberry bagel as a pillow.
Can I eat your pillow?
After we did it I noticed she was wearing the same underwear as last night.
That's why you don't sleep with the same girl two nights in a row man!
Currently coming up with judgment, the game. Works well on buses, will probably be more entertaining in bars.
He found my weave.. Think he'll still fuck me Friday? And how do I ask for it back?
apparently i saved myself a memo last night titled "cake" and all it says is "i love it so much"
Hurry up and get here. I already announced to the bar that you were on a mission to get laid tonight. I have 3 takers.
He needs to stop telling me how much he respects me. What does that even mean
My "Week Of Not Checking Into OK Cupid So I Don't Hook Up With Another Fat Chick" lasted four hours. On the plus side, she was the smallest one yet.
Honestly bro, I can't look at girls you've banged. Its like looking herpes in the face.
I'll answer your question with a question: Are you gonna be too high?
Last night I watered my lawn and smoked a joint then cooked a steak. I'm really killing this adulthood thing.
Are u alive? If u are, you deserve an award.
ok so you're 100% sure this time that he isn't your ex in disguise again?
But seriously like how many girls do you know that will do that on the first date?
One?
ONE! And it was was glorious!
Randomize
