I keep pulling short curlies out of my mouth. Not cool
he refuses to go down on me anymore when he's high because he thinks my clit piercing stares at him
It was like a lincoln log. Seriously. I don't know who's more pissed, me or my vagina...worst.hookup.ever.
Romer got arrested for getting in a bar fight with a bus boy because he was trying to steal a keg, had it all the way to the car
I gotta bail on the cookout tonight. Im at the er getting stitches. Re-enacting porno went horribly wrong.
I swear there's a gravitational pull from your vagina to large groups of men in uniform.
Sounds good. I will just get tanked here and wear this batman mask.
WHY does every guy I sleep with want to fix my car?!
God fucking bless the man who invented the vibrator. Bless him and all his descendants. I think I saw the face of God tonight
I just took a plan B pill with my preworkout. That's the level I'm on today.
Maybe you should slow down tonight...
KINGS DON'T NEED ADVICE FROM LITTLE HORN-BILLS FOR A START
Good news!! I can adult!! 😂 turning down the strip club on a weeknight has become my crowning achievement ðŸ˜ðŸ˜‚
I will not abuse the gift that was given to me
You were given a vagina and you abuse that pretty hard
And then there was cum in my hair and he was making beans.
why yes, bad decisions will be made starting at 3PM Thurs through 8PM on Sun. You have been warned. Plan accordingly.
Randomize
