yay america 4th of july drinking game. take a drink every time you hear or see a firework, finish your drink for a mention of mj or the gosselins, a shot for the words democracy,hope, freedom, terrorism
At the wedding. Seated next to the bar. No way this ends well
Was just told that I was slipped 2 hits of acid in my in flight drink before takeoff. 8 hours to Germany wish me luck
bleeding from the face, sitting in a shopping cart and holding a wad of ripped caution tape. what else would i be doing?
My neighbor caught me peeing on his rose bushes at 2 in the morning while wearing my Santa hat. My sex appeal has never been higher.
I am just pathetic enough to be sitting on the couch with my cat drinking absinthe and vodka watching moulin rouge. Hello, tuesday night.
Maybe if more guys knew my pillowtalk occasionally includes me scribbling notebook diagrams of cell signalling pathways, I'd get laid more often
Boys that pee in my bed don't get happy birthday wallposts on facebook
U offered to motor boat her and it somehow turned into u two going on a sunset cruise in Newport. At 3am.
There's a time and a place for everything. Except for getting wasted at a work event, puking in the parking lot, and sleeping in your car overnight.
I saw a picture of my dad holding my legs in a kegstand. Town festival=success.
nope. just stoned. wishing i had a golf cart.
I'm wearing the monkey suit out tonight. I hope you're ok with it leaving the bedroom
He said we were over, wrote my name on the condom he left in my car last night and said he'd always keep it in case I came back. It was kind of romantic
It wasn't as awesome as they lead everyone to believe. No stripper. Ran out of booze. The chipmunk. He was real.
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