We had two amazing nights in a row...it was so weird...I couldn't even go to sleep cause I thought maybe it was just in his plot to kill me.
He thanked me for being "his little blond pogo stick last night". Good thing?
I feel uncockblockable...banged her in the bathroom with my iv still in
At Grandmas for dinner. She is drinking a smirnoff ice. As soon as I saw it I had to stop myself from yelling chug.
So we just left her at the hospital. She is not ruining my Monday night
They fucked on my pong table last St. Patty's and broke it. I feel like I should be hiding my new one. Would hate for a tradition to form.
And i'll likely end up sleeping in a bush wrapped up in my poncho
He showed me a picture of his family on Instagram and his dad was my Sugar Daddy. ABORT.
I did a line off of, and then danced on top of a table older than this country.
Harvard is great.
Access to a Target is paramount to my general happiness and self-worth.
idk he wanted to trade sex for a triple order of hashbrowns
AND YOU SAID NO?????????
He brought me a bottle of Jack, got me off 3 times, & then left. This is the best fakelationship ever!
Dude I may be rolling but there's no way I can make up a 12 ft tall giant green man waving to me right now
False alarm, security just told me it's a radio tower
All I remember is being in the middle of the road puking and my bestfriend cheering me on from the passenger seat...
Apparently I gave a guy a hand job on the dance floor. ON THE DANCE FLOOR.
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