This chick, for whatever reason, has serious "Leave your wife and kids and also break up her young marriage in order to frolick for a good 2 weeks before I realize that she's just like the rest of them and I made a huge mistake and ruined a lot of lives in the process" potential. It's SO INTRIGUING.
We just passed a billboard that said to join "jerseydoesntstink.com" and literally 15 seconds later, we could smell jersey.
But it was well worth it to see a man fly through the air in a beaver costume...
No, no, no. Fuck you. I took a glass blowing class solely to learn how to make that bong. You shattered it and my dreams in a matter of five seconds.
The gym is handing out free condoms this week, motivation to work out this week?
I will be sticking my dick in something this weekend. You can either be that something or not. Your decision.
She just told me she had a double jointed jaw and winked at me while eating her bananna. That's not possible right?
I no longer see him as a simple set of male genitalia attached to a very sexy body. The title "trophy fuck" seems wrong. Damn.
Somehow I got food poisoning AND alcohol poisoning in the same night. Its like everything I love is trying to kill me. I'm waiting for my tv to make its move.
You shouted "FUCK SHANIA TWAIN" and then downed an Aquafina bottle of white wine none of us knew how to react
you riverdanced for the cops while the rest ran away.
Visiting Houston was a good decision for my penis.
did you just try to prove your straightness by quoting a lady gaga song?
I mean, it's good for a lot of things. Just not the inside of your vagina
Well neither is bbq sauce but I dont judge kinks
fell asleep while jerking off ln. woke up to my hand in my pants and my cat crawling all over me
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