totally got the gold medal for the best fence jump when the cops came.
You were pretty committed to that cat costume. Between pukes, you would meow and assure people that you just had a hairball you couldn't get out...
filling out my bracket based on schools with ppl I've hooked up with
It's gotten to the point that the dirty talk in my head when I touch myself has your accent
The chips are stabbing my teeth, and I can feel the muscle under my mouth contracting.
His phone pocket dialed me while he was crapping. He was quietly singing stayin alive and possibly passing his intestines.
My parents got me a bottle of vodka and a puke bucket for christmas. I've already used both.
I wasn't half as drunk as u but u were saying u were a "worm" and u tried to slither out of my grasp
Not sure if you're still doing the whole "sleeping with only one person" thing but if you're not we should sleep together when I get back in town tonight.
I just connected with one of your drug dealers on LinkedIn.
Dudes don't just lick butts of chicks they're not into.
there may have been a blood oath never to speak of it again...only reason i can think of as to why there was a 1 inch bloody cut on my right boob
if a girl cums in a dorm room and no one hears it did it really happen?
If you can give me an orgasm, you'll get a trophy.
A fire alarm is going off in some building, people are running around naked and people are passed out in the MIDDLE of the sidewalk. If they ban parties again, I'm going to be pissed.
Randomize
