haha it's okay then, bc he only killed a canadian, they're not real people
Who do you think planted the wheat? Who do you think cleared the land and killed off the native inhabitants? Women?
So how was awkward coffee with forgets-your-name?
Just found the bucket list I wrote when I was high...somehow I dont think "jello swimming pool" is gonna happen.
just saw way to many penises for it being 5 o'clock on a thursday
All I can think about is getting a lawsuit and chocolate
The other night after we fucked we talked about Lowe's vision insurance. Never fuck a coworker.
Dude he fell into my wall and left an imprint then decided to have sex with the door open. Vents carry noise pretty well
Dude it was bad... like you fell asleep around the toilet after drinking from the back tank bad.
I picked up a guy that night wearing a onesie. I kicked Xmas' ass
pretty sure tht was the guy who once went to the club dressed as waldo. he still looks weirdly fuckable.
Just read 119 best sex positions. I wanna try 107 of them. Can I put you down for 50?
His friend still there? Be like "I need to see both of your dicks ASAP"
BOOOOOOOOOOOO *takes away your hoe card*
Just blew on a shot of whiskey to cool it off, like it was soup...
Randomize
