He called me an ungrateful bitch because I lauged when he asked me "how do you me and a bed sound?"
Like I should be grateful for the 5 minutes I sit on top of him and stare at the wall.
I just made my bed perfectly before realizing that I'll be too drunk to appreciate it tonight
I don't care. He smelled like a fucking chilli cookoff
It's offcial there's a Bobby Light radio station on pandora.
He kept saying it was because he was allergic to the chicken. Then he threw up on my mom.
We're gona eat taco bell and then take exlax and see who can hold it in the longest. Loser has to pay for drinks all weekend. You in?
you were yelling that somebody needed to take your bra off with such enthusiasm my first thought was that you were on fire.
yea talk to her if you feel up to it. Just remember who you are
Oh shit sorry I just gave lion king advice sorry not mufasa
lets do drugs on my lunch break tomorrow
I found a new button on my vibrator, tonight was a success
Currently having to re-watch episodes of Lost that I've only partially seen because you distracted me with your vagina
I'm so festive that I used my jack o lantern bucket as a just in case barf bin
Learning to live poor pretty well. Cashed in all the coins in my car for nearly 60 bucks and yelled at a Pizza Hut manager, insisting I have a free pizza credit, until he just gave me a pizza.
I talked to his mom for a good 10 minutes with coke all over my nose. Not the best first impression
My dad just invited me to smoke a blunt with him. Parent-child bonding at its finest (and highest).
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