I just came so hard I farted. Twice. Thank God I'm alone.
So that's a yes to the cocaine usage and a no to the rollerblading
if you made me into a cookie and threw me into a betty crocker easy bake oven on christmas morning...that's how baked i am
hahah your definitly as dumb as I think I thought you are. boom roasted.
He has some good qualities. Beneath the layers of asshole and fat.
The hospital said it would be 'irresponsible' for them to allow people to book stomach pumps.
he described going down on me as being like 'entering a jungle of deliciousness and fur
I think our camping neighbours like us. We're the drunk girls trying to chop firewood with no pants on at 3 in the afternoon.
is it mean that i live tweeted about whether or not my roommate and her bf were having sex or were wrestling?
As soon as they started using chocolate milk as a chaser for captain Morgan, I thought l it'd be best to leave.
I'm so incredibly high right now the fact I am texting is nothing short of miraculous. Call the Pope. Hell make me Saint Roy, patron of stoners.
Dad's teaching me to make moonshine this weekend as "college prep". How scared should I be sis?
Well I shit myself on the way home from work today so there's that...
So i woke up this morning to find my boss passed out on my living room floor.. Awkward? Haha
Because you put the dick in ridiculously amazing boyfriend. And you deserve to have nice things happen to your penis. That's why.
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