So for his birthday I'm planning on doing what stripper did when she put the matches on her nipples..lights them n makes him blow them out..SEE I AM dating material.
I swear I have "I love assholes" written on my forehead with ink that only guys can see.
I wish I was a guy so I could jack myself off anytime I wanted to
just when i thought things couldnt get worse, the batteries died in my vibrator.
No.. It's totally over.. He deleted the poke I sent him.. That makes it official.
it wasn't the penis i had been hoping for.....but i took it regardless.
It was her first time with a girl so I put on my tegan and Sara playlist to really get the full experience.
They really brought out their best strippers for vday weekend
Some guy just bought a handle of cuervo, a curling iron, and a power drill. Paid with a jar of change. I'm torn between avoiding him and befriending him..
Why isn't there a sort by hair color option on Facebook? It would make stalking much easier.
Ive never seen him vulnerable before. He just had surgery and looked so cute on his crutches. like a little baby bird with a broken wing. that i wanted to nurse back to health. with my vagina
We just had a 30 min argument on the actual birth date of Jesus, it ended in my brother and ain't cursing each other and an 8 yr old answering it by using Siri.
Soggy bong water carpet is the worst kind of carpet.
And by not handle it I mean it makes me want to sit on his face
Nothing ruins an orgasm faster than accidentally calling out his boss's name
Randomize
