I think I just saw someone hide a body.
Is it weird that we showed each other our pussy's and pointed out the good and bad things about each others??
so today in my theology class we brought up the proper way to have sex. so rough sex was said by the teacher...I said I know a girl that likes to be choked. sorry but everyone knew it was you
he just asked me to email him a handle of captain morgans...how sober do you think he is?
sorry i couldnt make it to your birthday last night. i admit i chose being a whore over you.
I was going to call you an awful person for that. but then i realized we're both awful people.
Really* awful people.
i've learned that i'm good at stealing things. like live cats.
I don't understand how she could dump me AFTER we had shower sex. I'm fucking great at shower sex
She suggested that I come visit her in Europe and hook up with the heteroflexible Korean who sits next to her in class. Polylove is the best love.
I'm sitting at work trying to dust glitter off my pants. I can't hang out with her anymore.
You better buy her a motherfucking bunnyrabit to make up for this. And me footsie pajamas for being a cockblock.
You don't understand!!! BACON ROSES!!! Why are you not more excited?!
I was thinking we could get together and exchange gifts, and by gifts I mean orgasms.
You were filing your nipples with a nail file to "make them sharper"
Would you still love me if I got a Whatever Forever tattoo? It's like the Emo kids' Live Laugh Love
Randomize
