I need a sticker that says "It's no use hitting on me - I'm the plus one" Seriously, how do they think I got in in the 1st place?
He looks like Spencer from the game Dreamphone
i hope whoever thought of bagged wine flip cup last night has the same hangover as me. not ok.
I wonder if you can snort coke upside down
peeing off your aunts pourch into the koy pond seemed like a good idea at the time
Just hooked up with a girl I met in line at Taco Bell. I told you leave me to do my own thing and I'll get it in
I stopped in the middle of puking to wish you a happy birthday, so by default it means a lot.
Fortunately for myself I'm twice as smart and half as drunk as everyone else. All things considered I'm leaving here three-to-five times richer than when I arrived.
One of us will probably end up wearing nothing but glow/ neon body paint and a pair of water wings...
And I am in no way ashamed to say that it will most likely be me. I'm hoping for it actually.
THIS ISN'T WORKING THIS IS THE DRUNK LEADING THE DRUNK
Just did a relay race involving shotgunning beers, cannonballs and riding a blowup whale. Never want to leave vacation.
Febreezed myself at a stop light on the way to the IRS office. Judgmental glare from some old lady in the car next to me, thumbs up from her husband.
Dude, we apparently put a washing machine drum in that back of your truck with the full intention of making a bonfire in it.
And by pregame I mean drink heavily and watch Russian dash cam car crash vids
Gez, you make a couple noises and all of the sudden your the loud girl.
Randomize
