Yes, one should always join a cult. At least once.
i almost got kicked out of the rave because i was trying to get in on some couple's makeout sessions
I could feel myself puking on my feet but it was so warm i didnt even care.
Please tell me that text was part of your elaborate Brett Favre costume; otherwise, dude, wtf?
Just hooked up with a girl I met in line at Taco Bell. I told you leave me to do my own thing and I'll get it in
Jared is "trying to bite a strangers hat off" drunk. Oh, and that stranger is a girl at a table of 5 guys, one girl.
I took an adderall. This is weird. My eyes are really wide open and I am really good at staring. I've written on 9 peoples walls and updated my status. I am getting shit DONE!
Unless you can blow me and bake me a pie at the same time, im not impressed.
I wore heels to a golf store in hopes of getting laid. I've hit a new all time low.
I threw a beer bottle at the bartender and pissed myself. Somehow, I didn't get kicked out.
It can't be Friday yet, in still getting friend requests of people I don't remember from last weekend
What's worse having drunken sex with hot married man or breaking the diet one week in?
I just feel like if we dated, he'd just be crying the entire relationship
I want your attention. I want your attention in the form of your penis inside my vagina.
Just watched someone fail a field sobriety test. Miserably. At 4:50p. I think it's my future husband
God bless him
Randomize
