Dude we got so high last night. I said "watch this" threw a goldfish cracker in the toilet, and laughed my ass off. We watched the dvd menu for 30 minutes too.
it's like, God thought about making her pretty then changed his mind at the last second
Just in case you were wondering I sent you a text at 4:37 in the morning because I woke up on the side of the highway at that time
I would personally love to see the surveillance video of me throwing my stuff inside, peeing on the sidewalk, then crying hysterically when I realized I locked myself out. Again.
im tired of her bring homeless men home when shes drunk. THEY ARE NOT FUCKING PETS!!!!
well in the interest of full disclosure I have been using a used kfc spork as a buttscratcher for a month
Just did it in a room with glowing stars to Peter Gabriel's down to earth on shrooms. This is like god
How much morphine is too much? Keep in mind that I'm going to my graduation dinner with my parents.
I heard moaning and ass slapping and sponge bob.
while i am personally glad that we met...i feel like for society as a whole it was a bad thing
I mean, you got a giant dick. I've seen lawn gnomes that are smaller.
We played table tennis, but used tv remotes taped to our foreheads instead of paddles. Every time your opponent scored you took a shot. I'm the current champion as of last night.
So I crawled off the trampoline to puke in the neighbors yard. Wonderful house guest right here
ICE CREAM AND CAKE BITCHESSSSSS
I'm drunk and kinda wanna go home but now I have to go have more sex, my boxers are in the dryer
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