He lasted like 30 seconds. With a condom. I just expected more from the president of a frat.
through my window right now you can see the hot chick next door is standing BUTT ASS NAKED eating peanut butter off a knife.
ill be there in 5.
Have you ever chased with pilaf before? Because dont.
He was with one girl when I went to bed, wad with another when I woke up and now he just told me he was with a 3rd in-between last night and this morning. Jesus Christ.
It looks like sephora exploded on his dick, so i assumed I was the second girl that gave him head that night.
"it's Wednesday" isn't a good enough excuse to take my debit card and use it for your own drunken needs. You owe me 250 bro
Also, am I the only one who noticed he didn't fuck you until after you were technically a cripple? Or am I reading into this too much? Congrats on that btw
Sorry, fell into some ass. Call you tomorrow.
Didn't shower and drew a couple dicks on my face before I went to work. Boss sent me home. Sacrificed my dignity for a 3 day weekend with you guys.
Do you remember telling our cab driver you were going to fuck a penguin?
I got really stoned and got my certification as an ordained minister. How productive has your day been?
I'm sorry my shit is everywhere... I accidentally got drunk while packing
Took it for the first time last night, and i saw a giant pillsbury boy coming after me with a wrench in his hand.
I just saw a guy walking down the street without a shirt on and holding a samari sword....
We’ve got a propane heater on our back porch if you want to come over and eat a McRib in peace
Randomize
