Now hope fervently that she'll do it quick and cheap, just the way i like it
yo i just woke up i feel so weird, and the absolut is still fill, so is the 30, what the fuck did we drink last night man? And will you please come out of the bathroom.
Bro... we didn't even hang out last night??
So can I buy you a drink sometime?
Sure, but make it a double, I'm drinking for two these days.
Someone said we're out of ice. You collapsed on the spot and started sobbing, saying 'but where will all the polar bears live". That drunk.
If I come over right now will you promise to distract your grandpa in the morning so I don't have to do the walk if shame with 1940's style judgement?
5th glass of wine. There's pictures of Jesus everywhere. It's like you're constantly reminded of your sins here.
Look, as a friend I'm asking to see a picture of his tiny dick
The countdown is at hand. We are 15 days from so much Jameson that names will be forgotten. Prepare your liver now or severe projectile vomiting will be the theme of the night.
These pissing matches have to stop. They led to last night's scotch through the nose shots. I'll never smell again.
Part of me really wants this picture, but the other part of me knows if he is really this drunk, he could be sodomizing a lamp and not know it
I was thirsty after the sex and it was a long trek back to res so naturally I stole chocolate milk from his fridge as I left
I want to share a beverage of the alcoholic category with you, but I'm conflicted about getting out from under my covers.
And then she proceeded to tell us that blowing your brother made her feel like part of the family. At this point you were still pretending to be a cat. Need I give another reason she can't live with us?
You got naked in his car? Or the koala suit was in his car? One of those sounds a lot less slutty than the other......
Just imagine a dick squawking like a parrot
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