My mom's crying. That means it must be Christmas.
The more I hate his personality, the more I love his penis.
Just slept with my boyfriend's roomie to learn if bf was cheating on me
Good plan. When in doubt, sleep about.
just because she threw up on my junk doesnt mean i dont like asians anymore
My kindergarten teacher served me... All coming full circle
I'm amazed your boyfriend is still with you, how do you manage to pee on him while he is holding you in his lap?
Expect nothing less than me teaching them how to do shots and put condoms on
It's after midnight. I didn't find the answer to my problem, but I did find the bottom of a bottle of vodka, so... there's that.
There's a guy in a life size dick costume, and two guys with white shirts that are each half if a pair of breasts in a red bra lol. They came separate but when they saw each other there was some titty fucking in the street, it's only 11
By chance and just chance did you find a cock ring? By chance
My life is literally "I'm too horny you can't leave" or "let's have pie" there's like no inbetween
I've just had my first cup of coffee in a month and I moaned at the first drink and honestly I think this is the most sexual expreiance in 6 months
MY LIFE IS A TRAINWRECK THATS ON FIRE BUT SOMEHOW STILL MOVING, I HAVE THE RIGHT TO SCREAM OUTSIDE AT 2AM
I am high. And my mom surpised me today. Now i am high and with my mom....bad idea
“On a break” is implied when it’s a Russian chick dressed as Black Widow wearing Minnie Mouse ears
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