Your lack of dick hurts my anus. I hate your loverboy tactics.
Ok let's jusst not talk today bc then we'll just do dangerous things but I'll say hello
she's naming her girl london marie
that kid will be born with a tramp stamp
i found a dude playing guitar on the portapotty
The future queen of Norway was pregnant with a druglord's baby when she met the prince. We still have hope.
i'm on the subway and being revisted by the ghosts of tequilas past.
I don't think you seem to understand this concept. WHEN A GAY GUY HANDS YOU A DAIQUIRI, YOU DRINK IT.
You cant carve pumpkins without vodka. It's a Halloween tradition.
He pulled a condom out of his satchel and i questioned my entire life.
But I wanna cuddle and just put my hand awkwardly close to your penis area by accident and look at you
Chicks, chicks everywhere, and not a drop to drink. Dude, when did real life lesbians get HOT?
It doesn't feel like real life when you open your hotel room door and the first person you see is wearing a rabbit costume. I'm too hungover for this.
you asked the cab driver if he wanted to meet your parents, last night.
So I was having a really bad night...so I decided to steal a pumpkin.
This is the most exciting thing since movie theater hand jobs
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