Potential corruption. He's 19.
Get them while they're young!
The guy in front of me in line at Starbucks looks kinda like Danica Patrick except he has a huge boner.
i woke up with someone drivers licenses in my wallet this am...he said i don't have a business card so just take my drivers license
So the bartender just told me that there was numerous people who saw me having sex on the rooftop last weekend. +1
I need input, can I pre-game my cat scan?
As long as he sees me topless I don't care. Redemption. REEEDDDEMMMPPPTTIIIOOONNNNN
I remember desperately screaming that I love my life and running in zig zags all the way home
Did I really just find a cheez- it box full of condoms in your room?
We would be rich. And the whole world would be stoned.
I was carrying around a bottle of Jameson yelling rescue me
Who told you that acid and Jurassic World was a good idea?
dont remember, but I'm pretty sure I was convinced that the hybrid dinosaur was satan the whole time. It was actually very spiritual
Did I tell you that I told him I deleted his dick pics and he almost started crying?
You're a disaster
Wanna date?
She's licking the vodka she spilled off the desk
Aaaaand now she's drinking it out of the shot glass like a cat
Everyone in Columbus is two degrees of separation from my vagina.
Randomize
