You're the end to all my bad dreams.
Did you have that reoccuring dream about me banging your mom again?
I'm sitting at the bar eating dinner next to a nerd, a guy in a 10 gallon hat, and a policeman. I feel like I joined The Village People
So me and friend just finished Eiffel towering this girl and sounds great in theory but after the high five has commenced its just a weird threesome especially when you make eye contact with your buddy during the session
Is today national text-a-girl-whose-had-your-dick-in-her-mouth day and I just wasn't aware?? I am getting the most random "just saying hey" texts ever and that's the only common denominator.
2nd semester senior, always drunk. at this point if i don't get a good parking spot, i turn around and drive home
You made out with a guy who refers to his cock as "rafiki." Are you proud of yourself?
i got a standing ovation for bringing skittles to the party
I was scared I had HIV after last time so I'm not gonna do it again
But he was really hot
Glad you don't have HIV
I just asked her to come in through the window, this pretty much solidifies the whole fuck-buddy thing...
I'm making poor life decisions again. Tune in tomorrow to see how much I hate life.
It's not a walk of shame if you run
You cannot ask her to resend the picture of her genital tattoo to you just so you can show your room mate. it is time to end your relationship with the Captain.
Me and my dad hot boxed a hotel bathroom... That's what I call father son bonding
idk but im stoned n hiding in the bathroom from my kids with a really big bowl of really little candy bars
We're pretty sure we got naked at Pride, so running the two blocks to your place in my underwear is a step up the dignity ladder really.
Randomize
