Seeya bye Latvian government! Whammy!
508, what difference does it make? You were alone, anyway.
I didn't say she couldn't, I said you shouldn't.
I have no memory of puking on someone. Was he cute?
I just worked out and used handles of vodka as weights. Whoever said alcoholism is detrimental to you health obviously has no fucking idea.
Pregaming class all semester has made this final review session more like my introduction to the topic.
Dude. My sister is off limits. Touch her again and I'll rip off your dick and force feed it to you.
I accept this challenge.
No, I left myself a half eaten cucumber and a beer next to my head, pointed at it and said 'you're breakfast' and then passed out.
The perfect world is just rainbows and rocknroll and good sex. With the occasional stripper ridIng a horse. I spelled occasionally right?
You left your underwear in a sandwich bag on my kitchen counter.
He asked if I was going to squirt out my bday candles. I'm glad the perversion doesn't stop for special occasions.
He texted me at 2am telling me to come get my American flag from his place, if that's not code for sex idk what is
he just left the suite without pants on wrapped in Christmas lights
Meeting him up for him to pay half of the Plan B was awkward but worth it cause I'm broke as fuck
Last thing googled on my laptop last night was vagina chaffing. What the fuck?
Randomize
