Who knew there were guys that wanted to only stalk you instead of date you? Count on me to find them!
weddingsv make me drug and hornr
my mom just found my bong and asked what it was. I told her it was a hookah
and she bought it?!?
yeah...but her friends at work told her hookah was fun and now she wants to smoke it with me...im thinkin yes
You asked the officer if he could bring you to the same jail as T.I.
are you drunk enough to hook up with me yet?
so i gave him head in the movie theater last night. thought we were alone til I heard the clapping from the other side of the theater after he'd finished.
We talked him into tasing himself.
Im wearing all my glow sticks to bed so i know where my arms are at all times.
He looks like he'd be great Lego character.
The last thing I remember is feeding country fried steak to my best friend in a bubble bath with my bare hands.
It's not my fault you have a job and can't get drunk on Tuesday's. Don't take your frustrations out on me!
pretty sure I blew his mind with the sex last night. He repaid me with a five minute conversation about power rangers.
I don't want his dick, I want his flame thrower!!
I fell into a police barricade, a cop helped me up and asked if I've been drinking. I just looked at him and said "dude.." He proceeded to take out his handcuffs
Yeah. Broke it off. Saw her cheating after she forgot to turn her zoom off. Ring=$$$. Not making that mistake-priceless
Randomize
