his text ended with ... everyone knows dot dot dot equals infer sexy time
I just got cut off for correcting the bartender's grammar. I should have never accepted that fucking editors position.
Well apparently "don't come inside of me" wasn't one of the English phrases he understood! On the bright side... At least he will get his green card for having an american kid!
It's been a long time since I felt this bad on a Monday... and for that, I thank you.
i just added your friend Valery on the FB just to comment on your tits.... thought id give you a heads up
After 12 shots he decided to show us knife tricks. You can figure out how it ended
I woke up in her bed, she woke up in mine. Apparently there was a miscommunication after the 8th jager bomb.
When we were done making out, some guy ran into the room yelling, "I'll save you Brandon! I'll save you!"
The van in front of me contains people having SEX. I am in full view of a SEX VAN.
Thanks for letting me in last night. I was drunkenly sleepwalking.
no, I didn't go in the end. Too hungover and hot, plus Star Wars is on so obviously I'm having a naked day.
Did I leave the house with out a shirt or socks?
Yea, you said you didn't need them cause she was going to take them off anyways and that it would "save time".
YOU BROUGHT HANDCUFFS TO THE WHITE ELEPHANT EXCHANGE AND DIDN'T TELL ME???
There's nothing more rewarding than telling you that I fucked your dad
She’s a Vegas 8, which makes her an Oklahoma 27
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