Dual, econ, hell, shiv, aunt, puppy. 1 out of 6. T9 word needs to learn how to cuss like me.
So his roomate was eating breakfast when I was sneaking out. He's the guy I took home from jessicas wedding. I ended up eating coco puffs with him
Just another sign I need to get out of this town
After work we went home to fool around. Turns out he had sawdust under his foreskin. I'm never going down on him again.
we went back to her place to bone only to find her boyfriend having sex.. with MY girlfriend
thanks for not screaming that I'm pregnant when that guy was giving me his number.
What was your penis's nickname in high school? Also, what was it's theme song?
Don't ask how or why, but I think the 775 on the inside of my lip is permanent
After your flask fell out of your leg brace and you told your RA that it was juice, you tried to unlock your dorm room but your key was attached to your bra so he ended up seeing your boobs
I don't think people appreciate how hard it is to fuck in a portapotty. Sarah and I had train for that shit.
what compelled you to fill her bra with pudding and freeze it in the first place?
i might remember if i didn't get knocked out with it later that day.
There's s woman at the corner of the bar dancing by herself in her seat and making eye contact with me. Please hurry.
there's cocaine on the ipad again........... was your sister here last night?
My apartment is also really close to an alcohol rehab in case I get out of hand
Be there in 20. Want icecream?
sex. I want sex. I like where your heads at though.
Hey bro are you still alive??? I'm sure you are wondering how you ended up laying on the floor at the foot of your bed and why there is a wheelchair by your door....
Randomize
