I just watched a guy get turned down by a prostitute
So I'm eating my sandwich... and a penny fell out of it.
literally. a puddle of blood. on the floor. still searching for the source
The pride tent is doing free lube tastings. There is also a mechanical bull.
Some chick is drunk waving down a taxi with a slice of pizza.
What did he say? I couldn't hear him over the sound of how awesome his beard is.
I mean it was like cry my eyes out or masturbate in my moms bathroom.
SITTING NEXT TO A CIRCUS PERFORMER AT PLANNED PARENTHOOD. THIS IS MY LIFE.
I have nothing to say for myself. When 2chainz comes on at the bar all bets are off.
I heard moaning and ass slapping and sponge bob.
Biggg time. I found 2 empty packages of extenze in my car this am.... not sure what that was all about
That edible kicked in right as I was upside-down on that rollercoaster. Fucking.mind.blown.
Well. Now I feel like I put pants on for nothing.
When you're trying to sneak from the bathroom to your room with dildo, but it glows in the dark and suddenly your entire life is illuminated in the shape of dick
Are you okay? You're not sitting at home on facebook. I'm worried about you.
Randomize
