i'm pretty sure you said "blowjob marathon" lastnight
i totally said that
ID DO HER
SHE HAS LUMPS OF DEODORANT IN HER ARMPIT, I THINK ONE FELL IN YOUR DRINK
If your still trying to figure out the moment I stopped caring; it was the point in which you said "I really wasn't sure whose baby it was"
Stop. You don't mean that. Tequila might mean that. But you don't mean that.
Girl next to me just said "as a guy I used to sweat but not I don't. it's awesome" Oh. My. God.
you have no chance. her best friend is a human abstinence poster.
yeah except there is a correlation between drinking moonshine and going blind, which kind of concerns me
As the guy I'm having sex with on the side I shouldn't ask you how to dump my boyfriend. But you are the most emotionally detached person I know.
I am convinced that after two dates and a few adult sleepovers that he still doesn't know my name.
Dude, the lecture theatre is caving in on me.
I received a sext from my girlfriend, and a deal for free chips and guacamole at chipotle at the same time. I have tasted heaven, and it is beautiful.
I'm at a restaurant. I am NOT about to discuss my asshole over the phone.
I went to an 8am hookup in another guys sweatpants. Who is the really player here?
I love that my family celebrates every holiday with a joint. Chanukah? Mazel-juana! Easter? What's more spring than the color green? Election day? What better way to celebrate democracy in action than medical pot?
His dick is social distance approved
Social distance approved?
big enough for me to fuck from six feet away
Randomize
