He's been sleeping iwht ***
Nooo
Yeah I don't even know how, she looks like her mom smoked crack while she was in the womb
And then hit her in the face with a shovel
im going to pretend im pregnant so i can eat a lot then i will accidentally fall down the stairs
Anyone ask you how much a bj cost yet? That shirt is so whorish
the only thing i remember last nigh is talking to some chick for thirty minutes about cheese.
His penis has a special gift of curing my broken heart
Some chick just tried to plug her vodka into the wall.
She blew me in the back of the cab while eye of the tiger was on the radio. Top five all time automatically
I'm pretty sure you and I ate the entire Keebler elf weed workshop
I happen to have lost a black t-shirt and the volume button from my phone last night. If anyone finds it. You know what to do.
There are more dirty dishes in my bed then in the kitchen. Have I lost at life?
No it was fine, I've just never seen that many people eat dog food
There's a kid in the back of the class drinking out of a flask. Like what is going on?
NOW HE'S DRINKING OUT OF A HANDLE. WHO IS THIS KID?
when I was walking home I wad so excited to see a cat on the sidewalk but it was really a traffic cone
I ask him how he's going, like life and stuff, and he responds "20-0 pats"
shes rolling around in the floor yelling my vagina hates me
Randomize
