Best look from Detroit today: running across the street with your buttcheeks on display carrying a 40 oz. Or maybe being crazy-pregnant and screaming and slamming a pay phone. Toss up.
The walk of shame isn't so shameful when you do it in a stolen, autographed Favre jersey.
i just saw a guy carrying a medieval times commemerative glass filled with vomit.. there were 2 people cheering him from behind
you'd be confused too if you woke up to pictures of a ghostbuster doing body shots off you.
I was just wished a Happy Valentine's Day by the (Mexican) Chinese food delivery guy. I've never had clearer "get your life together" message than that.
BEST FEELING EVER: Standing in a hot fucking shower, while super baked, while eating a cookie.
You eat cookies in the shower?
I refrained from asking a guy what he spilled on his dick because it smelled good. Morals.
It's called being normal.
My roommate just walked in with a case of beer locked himself in his room and told us he was going to masturbate his feelings away...
I'd google it, but I don't really want my search history to say, "Name for masturbating on a flight."
We just took an Eskimo family picture.. It's pretty cute honestly
I made him laugh his dick is mine
WHY DID YOU INVITE ALEX?!?
Because she offered to bring a keg.
And also because you fucked her in an alley last week and I'm trying to be a good friend.
You know your Halloween costume is slutty when you have to shave your pubes to wear it.
Keep two things coming: nudes and puppy pictures
You’re going to be a doctor, and I’m going to be a trophy wife. We both have goals
Randomize
