I want to touch your soul through your body...with my penis...
Mike i'm at church right now...
We are brilliant. We call it the pint walk. Killing a pint of vodka while we walk from cleveland park to dupont. just making mama proud
Chris' response to jim throwing up was taking off his shirt and saying WHO WANTS A BONER
He was ugly. Like horse ugly. But he was built for power, not for speed.
Wtf are freshmen gonna think when the first thing they see in a pale 6'4 white kid with a mustache yelling ya man and we be liming in a Trinidadian accent
The only explanation I can think of is that he still likes me. Which gives me an enormous amount of power over him and makes me laugh with malicious intent.
Because its Monday... And I'm determined to just be drunk for the rest of the semester
I found his Linkedin the day after he created it. Too stalkerish or just right?
He didn't call me beautiful but he came in less than five minutes so same thing, right?
All I need is $1,500, a beach ready body, a bigger dick & this will be the best spring break ever.
Look, road flare archery was agreed on. We both accepted it was a shit idea sober, but did it drunk anyway.
I told you about the baby at the graduation party that looked into my eyes and knew I was empty inside
i found you passed out on the floor with a half-eaten pie. i figured youd be the last person to care if i went and banged your sister
The party pretty much ended once she shit on the couch
why yes, bad decisions will be made starting at 3PM Thurs through 8PM on Sun. You have been warned. Plan accordingly.
Randomize
