I need to buy a mesh tank top to fit in in Florida. Where do they even sell that shit?
All i remember before i blacked out is you pointing to a random chick and telling me to bang her for America.
My cock is literally on the edge of falling off. Fuck Vegas.
when i saw his roomate the next night he kept openly referring to me as "the girl who orgasms loud" when he would try to get my attention
I went limp when I heard her mom fart from her parents bedroom. It lasted longer than my hard on.
I gave them the 'I used to fuck your son' discount.
By this time next year I expect us to have full time jobs that we can call out of so we can day drink on beautiful days like this. Oh, and grill.
Things you do not want to hear after sex: I almost lost my gum in your pussy. Really dude, don't share that with me!
I'm sorry, the person you're trying to reach is WAYYY too high to deal with this right now.
god, I have more takeout restaurants in my contacts than friends
Doing coke by yourself isn't as fun. Even when you're watching a James Franco movie.
Does she know she is talking to people who slam shots of fireball and chase it with vodka?
Like I fucked him in the shower at 3 am when I had classes all day the next day so he can't say I'm not dedicated
Let me just get through this whole court subpoena thing and then ill go back to buying alcohol for minors.
i told you i was taking the Metra Train, and you asked what type of drug that was.. so yes i believe you when you say you were fucked up
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