How do I get over judging people who I would be exactly like if I had a boyfriend
Get a boyfriend
She took her shirt off and was broader than Dwight Howard.
Car fucking is for special occasions like birthdays and bank holidays. Don't want to lose the magic by making it an everyday thing.
its always fun the next morning to look around the room and see where all the clothing landed.
It was relaxing until your penis crawled in my ear.
We did it in the bathroom in Taco Bell. We didn't buy anything before we left, which I thought was rude.
Some kid just stopped wherever he was walking, turned to me, and gave me a slow clap. So I'm pretty sure my walk of shame beats yours.
It started as ''I want a romantic life right now'' text. It ended with pool table sex.
i woke up to you and that girl going out onto the balcony naked
oh sorry man.. we went outside because we DIDN'T want to wake you
Competitive oral. I'm always telling girls they are only the fourth, maybe third, best blowjob I've had. They go back down with something to prove.
When he breaks your heart after he reveals he's gay, I'll be there for you. -Love, Dad
Somehow his homemade liquor activated memories of my semester abroad three years ago. I ended up yelling random medical advice in German, while my roommates played dress-up with the cat stoned out of their minds. I consequently gave up on dating. Back in the ONS game.
you blew the guy with all the harry potter paraphanelia didn't you
Dude what happened last night?
I don't know, I'm still trying to figure out how I got my clothes back on.
PROBABLY?!! And here I was, about to buy you a glow-in-the-dark banana-flavored cock ring... Now I "probably" won't.
Randomize
