fix you gags fore go to garrits please? !!!!!!!
What does that mean?
How when the cu k dos I yet u
Focus
Lol speaking of weird...he just sent me a naked pic of himself that said "meow" at the bottom.
My grandma paid her handyman in pain killers. I now know why this is in my genes
I had to throw up. it was the only way to avoid kissing her after she swallowed..
She made me role-play everything from an older prof to a in-patient in need of a medical exam. Yay for cocaine.
We make out exclusively when we're drunk. That's like a relationship for me, right?
Can she stop putting up all these passive aggressive statuses and please come out of the "I-want-to-be-a-pornstar" closet already?
oh wow I have been there. Hell one time Matt and I woke up naked with pizza rolls in the bed.
Psh a bachelors degree is the new adulthood. We're all just pretending anyways. I'm sitting on my boyfriends couch while he's passed out drunk. In my lap. On a Wednesday. And he's a nurse. See, pretending to be an adult
He's talking about how great of a find these dollar store condoms were. Help.
you invented a new sport called "bacon pulling" and you cried everytime a piece broke
If it meant we had chicks like that every weekend I would gay marry the shit out of you dude
She pinched my nipples out of nowhere as I was about to come... I think I found god
Considering we almost incited a riot on behalf of LGBT rights I have to say that was the best time for our moral compass to turn south.
maybe i should limp back to therapy...
oh yeah will you also bring home vodka i wanna do shots on the roof
Randomize
