how do you spell 'special'? like slow?
S P E L L C H E C K
No you dumbass thats not right
haha you were like: "I don't want to uh pressure you.." as you took your own shirt off
Someone should tell Glenda that I only hang with her because she makes me look prettier.
So I ate yogurt with the back of my toothbrush. I feel like I've officially been initiated into college.
The state of Wisconsin is just irresponsible for letting me buy this many fireworks
The last thing I remember is yelling "ill handle this" while wearing a lion suit and holding a jug of vodka when the RAs came
I'm allowed to be upset. I've never had that many fingers in my ass
From scraping the remnants from a coke bag at a lingerie party to meeting with an 80 year old man to discuss civil rights all in under 12 hours bizarrely feels like the epitome of my life
Might be time to reevaluate my life. Banned from red roofs inns. Apparently I puked in ice machine. 3 hotels in a year.
Called my ex last night, told her I wanted to bang like we use too, her fiance was in the car, I was on speaker phone. NO MORE TEQUILA!
Did she say Ok?
I just saw a herd of slutty loofahs run down the street...
Yeah I was convinced everyone knew I was high. Time was passing way too slowly for anyone NOT to notice.
He was kissing me at red light while his penis was in an aluminum beer bottle peeing..
So my family just woke up on Easter morning and shared a bowl. That's bonding😊
I was running because his wife invited me to join them on their kinky Vegas weekend. Crossing state lines is too much commitment for me.
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