You know, as long as there were ice cream breaks, I would totally eat chips for a living.
Just spent 45mins blow drying a joint i dropped in a beer....i felt like i dropped his infant child....
you scanned your fake to get into the dorm last night and when the lady told you it was the wrong card you looked at her and said this is who i am thursday night
I'm either watching Fifth Element or Hotel Rwanda. There's black people and white people and high life tall boy 18 packs are $11.99 so I could be watching my own hand. I have no idea.
Excused from finishing the term project because my lab partner got arrested. For the second year in a row. Public school, I love you.
Interesting preview of what next year will be like. Side note, missing a chunk of flesh from my middle finger.
I just woke up to pictures of every angle of his dick I'll ever need to see.
I think my whole family judged my ability to change under a blanket.
In a moving vehicle and other people in the car
Also bring a pizza or no entry to my vagina OR the fort.
Cheese only
I stood in my living room with two beers in my hand asking these said beers if they were going to drink each other. I then insisted that I would drink them and chugged both. Happy Halloween.
We hooked up last night. I think it was great for our friendship.
I just found a To Do list on the table, written by me last night, that just says "1. Go downstairs. 2. Get Pickles. 3. Laptop"
He said he'd prefer a photo rather than discuss politics, I sent him a snapchat "conservative shorts 4 conservative man". He said "be liberal"
her fuck buddy was butt ass naked in our kitchen making waffles but they tasted so bomb
It's a combination of amazing uncoordination, bad luck, and sheer determination to cause destruction wherever I go.
Randomize
