I had so many friends before that round of Never Have I Ever.
my hangover today makes thursday's feel like a bubble bath.
I wasn't excited about it either, but if I was going to have her take a load on her face, role playing as some french dude is the least I could do
I either just got cockblocked or saved from a lengthy court case so I'm kinda conflicted about how my night went.
There are sesame seeds in my vagina. This cannot be explained with logic.
You guys crashed sarahs vespa into a snowbank and its still there. not cool.
Wait, is this the kid that tried catching a bat in your backyard with a flashlight and a ball of tin foil?
i'll booty call him tonight after the radiohead concert, that way he can see his favorite band and his favorite vagina all in one night.
I LOVE YOU SO MUCH I'M ON A WILD DICK CHASE FOR YOU. How many lesbians do YOU know that would do that? HOW MANY????
I want to buy her liposuction. And a spot on What Not To Wear. And a face transplant.
Oh were you the stripper at that club last Sunday when i was trippin on acid wearing a giraffe outfit?
I like how zombie Abe Lincoln and hooking up with a girl were on your same thought process.
Regardless of your intentions, deep throating a Twinkie is NOT sexy. You owe that poor cashier an apology the next time you pump gas.
I'm topless, wearing a fur coat, stink of sex, and eating dim sum. 2015 is off to a great start.
Be there in a sec. We have to stop at Target to buy her underwear first.
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