she was bad bro. like...id rather put my dick in a blender. twice.
This is why I'm not putting my name in lights over your bed.
Knitting and drinking wine. Forget my 21st birthday, might as well just skip to my 60th
Being at this bar with grandma is a real cockblocker
She literally just puked and rallied AT HER OWN WEDDING. Welcome to White Trash town, America.
Nothing like wearing your heels and smelling like henney in the afternoon
Covered in confetti and bad decisions
Your christmas gifts are already wrapped, how on top of my shit am I?
I'm hungover as fuck and had to break into my own house by throwing a cinder block through my back door at 4am. You're more on top of your shit than me.
They never prepare you for how broke ur gonna be in college. I just accepted money from two underage girls at a gas station to buy them beer only because I'm trying to figure out a way to run off with it without them noticing.
Dude, use it to buy them beer. Then run the beer to ur car as fast as you can and bring it to the party. Seriously, we're running out of booze over here
i could have been the DD. this is ridiculous. i'm the most sober and getting the least ass.
YOU ARE SO GOD DAMN LOUD AND YOU'RE SHAKING THE GOD DAMN HOUSE. FUCKING STOP.
Much like Dre, I was forgotten about.
I've made this amazing blanket/pillow cocoon combo and I am set for life in here.
Happy Halloween!! Last Halloween we spent together you got brought home in a shopping cart
I fought a guy last night because he said "extra pulp orange juice is the best orange juice"
Well, we went shopping. He bought me starbucks and ate me out in the change room at target. If that isnt the best post covid first date, I don't know what is
Randomize
