you dont want to live with me, im always naked, a chronic masturbator, a bit of a voyeur and will likely touch you while you sleep. ps- i can pick locks
Dude, this place has 10% alcohol beer on tap. It's like God's semen.
just heard a swedish guy suck in helium and speak in his accent. top 5 favorite moments. ever.
is there anything more depressing than unpacking condoms from your suitcase that you thought you were going to use on vacation?
I consider it a successful poop when you only have to wipe once.
So let me get this straight. You would sleep with an uncircumcised guy whose name you didn't know, but you won't try the new shrimp taco from taco bell?
im trying to stop thinking of him and his amazing dick. every time i do i snap myself with a rubber band. classical conditioning at its finest...and you said i wouldnt learn anything from psychology.
I'm hoping that banging a 24 year old 3 times cancels out banging that freshman on Wednesday
He always takes home straight guys. He plays One Night Stand on Ledgendary Mode
How does a face ride mean we're back together?
I guess the weekly d&d orgies are treating you well
I asked him to get me another beer, and he started making muffins.
It was all good until his cat started licking my nipple along with him
please don't forget about the bread in the toilet i am absolutely not dealing with that
PROBABLY?!! And here I was, about to buy you a glow-in-the-dark banana-flavored cock ring... Now I "probably" won't.
Randomize
