Viking lives by an ancient code of honor that we do not understand.
What code could that possibly be? Bothering the fucking shit out of people while being physically repulsive?
i made sure i dropped the whole "im a yoga teacher" bomb which basically roofies a guys sense of judgement and guarantees he will sleep with me.
my neighbors garage sale is really cutting into the time of day when i can smoke weed on my deck.
we turned his baptism video into a drinking game
All i've done since I got back to my room today is take a three hour nap. Like, I even planned to change my pants and haven't even done that yet.
yeah a little bit of me felt bad about it. But the rest of me was having sex with him.
this is not real life
it never is. after midnight never counts.
This was the first time I've ever pushed myself until I vomited. Sorry, random couple laying on a dock at 8:30am. I would have picked a better spot so you didn't have to watch/listen to me vomit, but you guys were being MAD quiet. I had no idea you were there.
I have need of you to return home with haste, as I require the magical capsules you possess to relieve the posterior pain I am living. I battle this demon with stubborn grit, however I feel that defeat is on the horizon.
PSA- Wearing assless chaps results in embarrassingly painful sunburn
falling asleep on a hardwood floor changes a person
it looks like a nuclear can of fuck blew up in here
I woke up wearing nothing but my red thigh high socks and a blue wig. I have no idea what happened.
Just stalked the girl I hooked up with last night's boyfriend. He seems nice, I approve.
YOU'D BE LIKE A MERMAID! I'll bring you coffee filters to cover your tits.
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